Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Poetry. Show all posts

Monday, November 10, 2014

"Tommy" by Rudyard Kipling

(I found a truly repulsive bit of writing recently sneering at the notion that soldiers and police should be considered heroes. This poem by Mr. Kipling immediately sprang to mind:)

I went into a public-’ouse to get a pint o’ beer,
The publican ‘e up an’ sez, “We serve no red-coats here.”
The girls be’ind the bar they laughed an’ giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an’ to myself sez I:
 O it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, go away”;
 But it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play,
 The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
 O it’s “Thank you, Mister Atkins”, when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but ‘adn’t none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-’alls,
But when it comes to fightin’, Lord! they’ll shove me in the stalls!
 For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, wait outside”;
 But it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide,
 The troopship’s on the tide, my boys, the troopship’s on the tide,
 O it’s “Special train for Atkins” when the trooper’s on the tide.

Yes, makin’ mock o’ uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an’ they’re starvation cheap;
An’ hustlin’ drunken soldiers when they’re goin’ large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin’ in full kit.
 Then it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, ‘ow’s yer soul?”
 But it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll,
 The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
 O it’s “Thin red line of ‘eroes” when the drums begin to roll.

We aren’t no thin red ‘eroes, nor we aren’t no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An’ if sometimes our conduck isn’t all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don’t grow into plaster saints;
 While it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Tommy, fall be’ind”,
 But it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind,
 There’s trouble in the wind, my boys, there’s trouble in the wind,
 O it’s “Please to walk in front, sir”, when there’s trouble in the wind.

You talk o’ better food for us, an’ schools, an’ fires, an’ all:
We’ll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don’t mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow’s Uniform is not the soldier-man’s disgrace.
 For it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ “Chuck him out, the brute!”
 But it’s “Saviour of ‘is country” when the guns begin to shoot;
 An’ it’s Tommy this, an’ Tommy that, an’ anything you please;
 An’ Tommy ain’t a bloomin’ fool — you bet that Tommy sees!

Friday, November 30, 2012

The Existence of God Song

This morning I was thinking about doing a post about the existence of God, but couldn't find a good hook. Naturally, I did what any sensible person would do, called up Thomas Aquinas and Julie Andrews, and said "I'm trying to come up with a good blog post; can you help?" So, they put their heads together, and this is what they came up with:*

                Let’s start at the very beginning
                A very good place to start
                When you read, you begin with ABC
                But where to begin in Theology?
               
            Don’t ask me!
               
                We start with the fact that we happen to be
         
          That’s Philosophy!
               
               I know it is; just work with me!
               
                I, I am, I know I am
                But there wasn’t always me
                The same is true of everything;
                It is, but doesn’t have to be

                But something had to have to be
                Or else existence would be odd 
                Something exists necessarily
                It is that that we call God!

                I, I am, I know I am
                But, I didn’t make myself
                Everything that is was made
                And every cause has an effect
               
                But this can’t go on eternally
                And effects cannot exceed their cause
                A perfect prime mover must be
                And it is that that we call God!

                I, I am, I know I am
                And I know it’s good to be!
                I call things good and evil
                And can recognize beauty

                But, if there’s beauty and justice              
                And I can call things bad or good
                A perfect standard must exist
                It is that - that - we - call - God!

*Note: Ms. Andrews and St. Thomas may not have actually been officially involved here.

Vive Christus Rex!